Read.Think.Learn.Grow | Thursday

Terrorizing Toddlers

When I first sat down to write this blog post, it was intended to be about my kindergartner learning Sight Words with a little bit of our fun, learning moments at the Thinkery earlier this week.  However, after the day that I have had, my head was full of terrorizing two year old toddler tantrums.

It has been 4 years since my son was a two year old and my memories are a little bleak to say the least.  He was more of a threenager than a terrible two.  Plus he is a mama’s boy through and through.  Just today, in school, he drew me a cute little picture of the two of us standing next to each other with the title, Dear Mom, I Luv U.  And in the picture, he is handing me a flower.  Are you kidding me!?!  This kid!  Sure, we still have a lot of issues, arguments, etc., however, I can almost always comfort him to get him to calm down and I always have been able to comfort him.  My parenting style fell more on the attachment parenting realm with him.  I had more patience. less controlling, more parenting with meaning.

Now, my daughter is a different story.  I am still trying to figure out how to get past her tantrums.  So Thursday mornings, I do a bible study at my church and she goes with me.  She gets to hang with two awesome ladies, sometimes three and a bunch of active 2 year olds.  They play, sing songs, color and paint.  She truly enjoys it.  And I do as well.

Let me play out this morning for you all…WARNING. THIS IS LONG

She had full control over what she ate that morning, a toasted raisin bread sun butter and jelly sandwich.  The first one was eaten by the dog which drew some tears but once I placed the dog in the back yard then I made another one for her.  She had full control over what she wore including the princess panties, check.  I then proceeded to ask her to get a wipe to clean her breakfast off her face which she was more than happy to do.  She ran into the living room and passed the wipes package that was sitting on the couch so I of course reached down for them and pulled one out.  That.was.when.all.hell.broke.loose.  You would have thought that I had stolen an ice cream cone straight out of her mouth.  You know, with the yummy ice cream from Lick or Amy’s Ice Cream?

She was not to be calmed.  I apologized and placed it back into the package and back onto the couch.  Asked her to please proceed with cleaning her face, however, it.was.all.over.  We spent a good 25 minutes arguing over the most ridiculous things.  Mainly just putting her clothes on and arguing over what shoes to wear, etc.  Once it was a little calmer and we were ready to leave (note by now it was about 10 minutes after bible study had started), we walked toward the door and I started to open it.  Then it all happened again because she wanted to do it.  I pick her up in a lame attempt at trying to calm her.  {Note I say lame b/c the last time I attempted to calm her during a tantrum, she bit me like a hungry vampire.  Seriously, she drew blood.  It left a huge red mark…I have pictures to show her future husband so he knows what to look forward to (yes, I will).}  Alright, back to today.  During this last bit of the tantrum after I put her down because she is flailing her arms and legs, I simply ask her if I can hold her.  She cries out NO.  I stop and think.  Then tell her that mama is sad too so can she please hold mama?

Guess What?!  It worked.  It actually worked.  I was able to pick her up without getting kicked in the guts and comfort her.  It was a God sent miracle.   As we walk out of the house and get into the car, she says, “Nice Mama.”

Once back home, I decided that I needed to use my Psychology background and start reading some simple parenting books again.  Or re-scan them over.  When you are on your 2nd child and somewhat of an older parent, then the parenting books start collecting a lot of dust on the shelf because you know…you think you got this by now, right!?!  Ugh!

I pick up Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey, Ph.D.  And the first bold sentence that I read “Your interactions with your children literally shape their brains.” I have definitely shaped this child’s brain to think that me arguing back with her during her control fests just means I am a mean mama.  We are both feeling bullied and I am the adult so it is my job as a parent to take a breath and choose to control myself instead of her.  I find myself focusing so much on how horribly she behaves and how often she throws tantrums even when I offer safe choices.  Dr. Becky A. Bailey talks about the Power of Attention which states “what you focus on, you will get more of, and will strengthen within yourself and in others.”  So I am only strengthening her miss-behavior.  What!  Mind-blown.  This is such an easy concept yet such a hard life skill to have as a natural worrier dealing with a toddler tyrant.

This post will need to have a Part II because I am so exhausted from the terrorizing interactions between me and my daughter and need more time to put words into action.

I love her strong willed spirit and her smart, energetic mind.  I vow to bring these to her attention more often so that I am not focusing on the negatives of our interactions but only on the positives which in turn will hopefully calm our relationship just a bit…maybe…we will see.  Stay tuned y’all.

♥Abigail

the-power-of-attention

 

Advertisements

The 45th President

January 20, 2017 | US Inauguration Day

Watching the presidential inauguration was a little surreal today.  It made me feel less of a boring stay-at-home mom and more of an empowered strong mother of two beautiful humans.  I will not say who I voted for, however, I will admit that I did not care for either candidate and was honestly a bit disappointed they were our two choices at the end.  Melancholy came over me as I watched President Obama leaving in the helicopter.

The heaviness that I felt while watching Trump become President of the United States was partly due to our divided country over this election.  The DC protestors acting violent in their own streets and toward the law force are just reiterating the negatives they feel about President Trump.  I am impressed by the Austin protestors who were peaceful and give them praise.  If you like him or not, President Trump stated that we should “speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly but always pursue solidarity.”  He is our president rather we like it or not so we need to find our voices yet keep our manners.

We are given freedom of speech but we are not given freedom to attack each other, physically or verbally.  When something is personal the only way to take it is personal, however, we must learn to separate ourselves from personal attacks and truly see the reason of the attacker, showing them kindness and understanding. This world, our nation, is full of different kinds of people, young, middle and old; rich, middle and poor.  We all have our daily demons and truly need to be the light in someone’s dark day rather than just creating more darkness.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Ghandi

♥Abigail

 

Sunny Sunday | New Year, New You 2017

10-quotes-blog-pic

| 10 Quotes to Start Your New Year and Renew Your Mind |

Making New Years Resolutions or actually Goals for Your Life would be a better way to describe it.  Resolutions seem to slither out of one’s daily routines a couple months into the new year, however, make them actual Life Goals.  Display them in your home where you see the constant reminder of where you want to be and where you are going.

Each year my husband and I discuss our goals for the year and talk about writing them down, however, we never seem to get there.  I don’t honestly think that is the reason that we haven’t accomplished all our goals yet but it doesn’t help us out any now does it?!

Life is hard, even as a Christian where you are supposed to leave all your worries up to the Lord above.  Your life depends on you as well as your faith in God to provide and help you.  We must not only seek Him in all we do, however, continue to live life to our best ability when we do not hear from God.  Reading the Word daily and keeping a positive mindset will help.

So this brings me to a some positive thoughts that I have come across lately.  I have always loved quotes, ever since I was a little girl.  I tend to over-analyze quite a bit and get lost in my head so quotes help keep my thoughts simple.  There is such a simplicity to a short positive statement or a small scripture.  It can help to realign your life or your day when the path is an uphill curve.  Parenting can cause a lot of ups and downs throughout your day, week, month, year so sometimes it is nice to read through some positive quotes from successful people.  Here are a few quote* including a couple scriptures that get me through my day.

“Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. ” – Charles Swindoll

“Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.” – Kevin Kruse

“Strive not to be a success but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

“Happiness is not in another place, but this place…Not for another hour, but this hour.” – Walt Whitman

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryan

“Success is…knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others.” – John C. Maxwell

“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” – 2 Cor. 15:7

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” – Psalm 16:9

“Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don’t strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt.” – Anonymous

*these were pulled from the world wide web

Hope these bring smiles to you hearts and opens your minds to new possibilities for the new year!  Thank you for reading.

♥Abigail